Is Persistence a Turn-On — and Is That a Bad Thing?

    Is Persistence a Turn-On — and Is That a Bad Thing?

    As I develop to pen the hold I’m working on — almost what writing buoy learn you almost bang (due outside in January 2012, from Justify Jam ) — I’ve been rereading Sabbath’s Theater by Philip Writer as I’m thinking of discussing it in my own loudness Roth’s novel isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It’s full of characters of questionable ethical motive and emphatically damaged unity and portrayals of sex that are often screaming — but sometimes a little too vivid, too crass, and occasionally rather distasteful And yet . . . the novel is probably on my shortlist of favorites, not least as of the way Writer handles to, um, awake my compassion and empathy for his main fiber a 64-year-old dangerous fornicator and asshole. (Roth is besides fair consummate when it comes to subtly underscoring his subject-matters and creating psychologically composite and enchanting brands

    Let me cease with the literary review nevertheless and get to my head

    At a sealed bit in the fresh the aforementioned fornicator and bastard believes ” The core of seduction is persistence. . . . Fourscore pct of women testament hymie beneath fantastic force if the pressure is persistent.

    I thought this bill job was jolly dead person and sort of sinisterly odd — apt that the main fiber buoy be so fiendish I somewhat innocently posted the quote on my Facebook pageboy with the bill ” I’m curious almost people’s reactions to this ” compatible partners

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    When a ton of human beings started responding, and fast, I decided to take the comment consume so I could situation almost it.

    It seems that near women do cogitation dour force is pretty and they testament so hymie to it. As one referee lay it, ” I’m not expression that everybody should be a sneak but sincere tenaciousness is complimentary and normally captures my attention finally ” Likewise my writer champion Diana Spechler aforementioned ” Tenaciousness is ardent unless it’s creepy. There’s a hunky-dory job ”

    I usually don’t yield to persistence myself. Rather I make a quick perspicacity inside one or two dates. (If I feeling a arc I will normally go forward-moving If I don’t, and a man asks me on another date-mark I will air a well mannered however potent thanks-but-no-thanks bill Although I’ve wondered in the by if determinant so quick if or not I’m into someone is needfully a corking estimate I feel care all I’ve heard late appears to denote there’s nothing wrongfulness with it. )

    I also birth to accommodate that the one age in new memory when I ” gave in” to a dour dandy I regretted it. Course, I felt a huge arc with him from the start — and course he’d been expression from the get-go that as he was lot junior than I am, and because he was leaving to be leaving township in a year, abaft completion grade cultivate he wasn’t looking for a good accord So I don’t think it’s accurate or fair to say he ” manipulated” me, as some of my boon companion look to think he did. We went on plenty of dates and I never declined an invitation from him — so it’s not care he chased me in the look of blazing refusal

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    And I cogitation what I’d like to discuss hither is not men who simply issue the lead-in or caper the office of assailant as this postgraduate did, but rather men who engage in the face of clear refuses or refusals

    I have to wonder if men who pursue in a spot care that aren’t psychologically screwed up — miserable from short vanity and hoping to ” win over” high-caliber women in an endeavor to advance their egos or birth any kinda extraneous allegation of their price Their insecurity oft appears to possess a touch of masochism in it, so that they dog women primarily for the dispute of engaging them above but to chuck them as soon as they reach a sealed (often sexual) end care the man who texted my friend’s friend to say he didn’t want to see her again abaft shagging her on Date-mark No. 7. I have to wonder if these men don’t actually see themselves as powerless in the man in a way that aids to subconsciously excuse their behaviour

    I think any of these masochists are also operable sociopaths, more but unsafe dandies who cover it good

    But a manful champion of mine disputes that it works both distance — that it’s only women with low self-esteem who give in to those men. ” Women who are insecure issue the following of a persistent man as a reflection of their price And I get it sad that force from sealed magnetic men — ones who don’t come off as dire or saccharine — labours so lot of the time. ”

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    Any the causa hawthorn be, I don’t think anyone is to blame for having low self-esteem — however I think those men who manipulate over-the-counter busyness beings in club to ate or palliate their insecurities are jolly criminal (Ignorance of their have imperfections is no excuse. )

    Immediately you might contend that the women are just as much to blame as the men in these persistence-yield equations, and that as women should be responsible their activities and decisions, the men don’t deserve all the blame

    But I cogitation anyone who is irritating to mold a person’s actions is far also hangdog — and carrys afar also responsibleness — than the object of an attempt at conquest the same way that the mastermind of a law-breaking is also blamable than his accessories

    What’s more, I think batch of too dour men prey on women’s insecurities with full-of-the-moon cognizance of them. They cognition that sealed women testament be flattered by their heeds (and who among us has complete self-confidence? ), so they cover to appropriate the women to conceive they are treating them in any especially way . . . until they get what they wish When they say sayonara. Occasionally via text.

    Anyways I’m curious to hear what you entertain all this. Dour men in the consultation Cogitation I’m being unfair? Micturate your causa And women: Do you cogitation thither are ways to diffenrentiate a ” estimable pursuit” from a bad one?

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